When your best is not good enough...

It really kicks me to the core when I hear that my best is not good enough.  A certain pang goes down my spine and my gut wrenches when I feel like I've given it my all to no avail.  It seems futile and wasteful...all that energy!  I have calculated and examined, stressed and made perfect, all to have someone say, "Well, it's just not good enough".  What do I then?  I am exhausted and sad that my talents have not matched up with my expectations, I feel that I have been let down and let down someone at the same time.  Tactile expression of truth...my oldest son is very analytical.  He is transparent and literal.  He likes to know derivitives in Latin and X-factors in math.  "If I do this, then this will happen....right mom?".   I have told him over and over again that one thing does always lead to another.  I have tried to explain the concept the Uunexplained and Unaccounted for.  I don't want him to think that things are always so predictable.  But there is a Trust issue here.

When I have given it my all....sprinted to the end with chest heaving due to loss of air...felt the burn of my legs and fatigue in my core.....and still hear, "Bev, you came up short.  You didn't make it"...will I choose to be mad or choose to pass my broken body to the One who was meant to carry me across the finish line?  Choose to give my self to the one who created me....who created my "best" and is still teaching me how to use this body of mine.   My best is still my self, yet His best is more than I could ever hope for.  Yes...my best is not good enough.  YOU are enough Lord! Allow me to trust that You have me in your hands.  Trust that and believe that You are my "enough".
  Press this verse into my heart....


2 Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Yes!  That's it!