Acclimate or Accommodate

It happened again.  I was sitting across a lovely dinner table at my friend Katie's house.  She is an artist by trade, married to an artist, and lives in a beautifully crafted home that glows in peace and glorious smells from her always active kitchen.  She asked me and my rather large family over for dinner on a Sunday evening, which really never happens when you have four kids.  As we chatted over her delicious BBQ sandwiches, the conversation turned to our kids...as it almost always does when you have at least one.  We talked of fun things like "firsts"and the "what ifs", then she asked the question.  The question I have heard over and over again in the past year,  "How far do you push your kids? When you know what they are capable of, how far do you push and when do you stop pushing and accommodate their short comings?"

This is a question that has come across countless conversations in the past year.  I could almost complete the sentence word for word as it came out of Katie's mouth.

I have wrestled with this question a million times over the past seven years.

Since my eleven year old son was three, we have covered countless territories in seeking to understand his academic and emotional needs.  We've changed schools four times.  FOUR!

How much do we push him? What are realistic goals for him?

I sadly confess that I yelled at my then five year old boy because he could not complete his work.  My frustration peaked daily as I tried to understand why he couldn't do what I asked him to do.  He couldn't follow simple two-step instructions, or focus on anything for more than thirty seconds.

I spent several years asking him to acclimate to his surroundings, to rise up and step up to the plate.  My asking turned into heartbreak as I started to realize he could not do what other kids could do.  So, after testing and trials,  I accommodated him. We tried to fill the gap.

We changed schools, we even homeschooled, now we hybrid school.  And here we are again.

Meetings with teachers and counselors tell me that he struggles with anxiety.  No learning disability, no dyslexia.  No plan for a kid like him.  They wish me the best and send me on my way.

It's up to me.

Again, I ask, "How far do I push him? When do I step in and accommodate? How do I wean him off the accommodations? He can't go to college with me by his side!"

I have heard so many moms ask these same questions.  Would you share with me some stories of a child, or even a relationship, that you have had where you have walked that line to acclimate or accommodate?

Peruvian Adventure Highlights

Words can't even explain the gravity of our trip to Peru.  This was a dream of mine being realized.  More than anything, the joy of traveling with my family to see lands uncharted and discover more of who God is through people we don't even know…that makes my heart full! We must thank our gracious friends who hosted our energetic family for just over a week…the Turvey Family.  Nicole just became my new best friend and Matt, well…we call him "SuperMatteo" because he drove us around all week in his 15 passenger van and managed to not get us killed in Peruvian traffic.  The Turvey family took the plunge to invest their lives full time in serving the people of Peru for two years.  We were able to meet so many of the people they were connected with over the short time they were there in Lima.  Our kids will never be the same, and we are so grateful for that.  God is at work all over this world, and we are grateful that we got to see more of who God is through the eyes of some new Peruvian friends.  Here are a few highlights:

La Molina

Nueva Vida (New Life) Children's home 

Raising the roof with Marta and her boys!

A church near Atlanta, GA donated 40 new bibles for the staff at New Life

This is Nahum.  He stole my heart.  His story will unfold on the pages of this blog for many years to come.  

San Cristobal, Lima.

The coolest people I know! Nicole and Matt Turvey

Sunset near San Cristobal

The Incan Ruins in the middle of the city of Lima.

Photo Title:  Old Meets New

My sweet friend and her gift for touching souls.  This photo is from a special needs orphanage near downtown Lima.

We visited the factory of Krochet Kids Peru.   For more information on their amazing company visit 

www.krochetkids.org 

Krochet Kids Peru Headquarters

Products from Krochet Kids.  Handmande and absolutely beautiful! 

Winter beanies made from Alpaca wool are super soft.

Blake Goodfellow gave our kids a lesson in micro finance and mentoring.  We are so grateful to have been introduced to Krochet Kids! 

Jills ponders all these things in her heart wearing her new Krochet Kids hat. 

Jill makes a friend in the childcare school that Krochet Kids provides for their employee's children. 

Watching a dump truck unload on a squatter village below near Lima. 

This will be a memory that will last a lifetime.  Janie was hurt playing soccer and immediately all the little girls came to pray for her.  In an instant, one girl gave her a treasure from her pocket (a silver button) and offered it to Janie in hopes that it would help her feel better.  While these girls have nothing, they still give all they have away.  God is at work in these little lives!

Todd with our new friend from the Nueva Esperanza school…might also be called Brazos Abiertos? 

They are doing nightly work there!!  

Most importantly, our beautiful hosts kept us smiling with their genuine love for one another and their servant hearts.  Thank you Turvey Family!