I have finally figured it out....again. I am a planner. I was born that way. I can be very flexible, but I work best when there is a plan in place. I have made plans and executed them. I have made plans and have had them fall apart. I am realizing now that it's not necessarily the outcome I am working towards, it's actually the planning and executing process that brings me calm. Now, I know that it's not totally weird to be a planner. The Creator of the universe plans things. He had a plan and puts things in order so that things will run smoothly in the world. I know that I am created in God's image, so being a planner is not surprising to me. I thrive on plans. Do you get that I LOVE having a plan??
Yet, every season I find myself reassessing my plan. I have a plan and have to reevaluate it after a while to see if the plan is working. I tweak it and change it. I analyze the plan, think and react. I change it. I do it again.
I am seeing a pattern that I don't give the plan enough time to come to fruition. I jump ship before I have hit shore because I think I can get there faster another way. Then the waves pull me out farther. Yet, I continue to do this and wonder why I am farther away from my goal.
In the book of Philippians in the Bible, Paul says this:
"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I CAN DO EVERYTHING THROUGH HIM WHO GIVES ME STRENTH."
Alas, the answer to the secret I have been waiting for. I can be content in the current plan because even though I want to jump ship because I feel like it's not working, it is in fact, already working for God's good. If I trust Him, then His hands are in all circumstances....even the ones I feel need to be changed. I can do all things through the One who wrote the book of life. That is the secret, to see my circumstances and remember that I can do it...only through being on my knees in prayer and bending my will to God's will.
I will give thanks in all things. Ann Voscamp's book, One Thousand Gifts, is one that I started to read, then put it down as my busy life took me over. Yet one sentence continues to speak to me....that "ingratitude" in the root of sin. I have seen that play out in my last 12 weeks. I began to listen to the lies that surround me. I have come ungrateful in some areas of my life. I see now that that that is the problem.
Step one, identify the problem. Check.
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